February 19th, 2024
Still working on the introduction. It opened with a bit about a couple in which the husband inherited much wealth and the wife married into money. For him, it was a sore spot growing up and he just wanted to appear “normal”. The wife, not raised rich, also wants to appear “normal”. I’m sure normal is not blue collar. It’s hard to define normal. Is a $200k household normal? $500k? It’s relative, of course. Regardless of their desires to seem normal, they spend $600k-$800k a year. That’s more than many see in 20 years. After that the author talks about the growing inequality in the country and the things causes and symptoms of it. Working wages are stagnant, welfare was torn apart, the rich avoid taxes and benefit from deregulation. All good stuff and hopefully educating to new readers of such topics. Then the author starts into why she wrote to the book: to see how the people who benefit from this growing inequality view themselves and their lifestyles.
February 20th, 2024
The author went on about the types of people she chose to interview for this book and it wasn’t that interesting. The lower limit was $250k per year, which is surprisingly low for the upper 5% of households. Most people, however, were far above that. Unsurprisingly the people in general did not like talking about money, as it is taboo in this country. They’re all nouveau riche, with wealth beginning within the last 2 generations. The author wants us to be open-minded and try to read without all the prejudices we tend to have about the ultra-wealthy. That’s going to be hard. They may all end up “liberal” Democrat voters, but I’m sure they are fiscally conservative. Prove me wrong.
February 21st, 2024
The first chapter gets into the interviews. I’m not going to remember any of these names; there are a lot of them. The focus is on whether these people are “upward” or “downward” looking. People with wealth who look downward tend to feel that they are well off and can vocalize some guilt about having so much more than others. The upwards will more often feel “middle-class”, especially in NYC, because there are people with much more. These people are certainly in the top 1% of the country, if not the world. The lack of self-awareness that can allow them to feel middle-class is insane. I have significantly less money than these people, but I still think I’m pretty damn rich. Maybe it all comes from your roots. Also I WANT to view myself as rich because it feels good, and these people DON’T want to see themselves as rich because it comforts them. As expected, they all are fiscal conservatives and think the system can’t change. It can’t change because they actively avoid tax increases. They think they’re on a precipice staring down at poverty. Just sell your second house and you will make more money than the average American makes in 20 years.
February 26th, 2024
I haven’t written but read a couple more times. There was a bit about the “downward” looking wealthy, who acknowledge that their huge incomes are ridiculous when compared to the average or median income. They are more likely to be sympathetic to those with less and are more likely to have a diverse network of associates, both economically and culturally. I think most of them are still economically conservative, but not all. The next chapter is about merit. These rich people really need to feel like they deserve to be rich. They justify by saying they earned it with hard work. If I were extremely rich and were asked whether I deserve it I would see it two ways: either everyone deserves it or nobody deserves it. Those who have it, it’s not about desert; they just happen to have it. It’s luck, really, and that’s okay. I have a pretty good living (really good, maybe) and I feel lucky, but I don’t feel bad about being lucky. These people also feel the need to work. Not me. If I had $2 million, I’d live off dividends and interest and never work another day in my life. I’d live for enjoyment. Everyone deserves to live for enjoyment, but not everyone is so lucky. It’s kind of a spit in the face to have millions of dollars and feel the need to work and complain about having to work so hard.
February 28th, 2024
I tried to write about what I read yesterday, but I honestly couldn’t remember. Today I realized I chapter 3, which I finished today. This chapter is about spending habits, and it was pretty boring. It comes down to these rich people spend a lot of money but try to justify by comparing it to some more extravagant spending. They give themselves arbitrary limitations like not flying first class to an expensive vacation. They seem to have a lot of conflict when it comes to just enjoying their wealth. Get over it. They still buy the stuff they want anyway, they just call it a birthday present or some justification like that. I get it in a way; once you start living a higher lifestyle, there is no going back. I could never go lower than what I have now, and I started pretty low. So I guess if you start buying Lambos, then I guess there’s no going back. You have to put limits up early.
February 29th, 2024
Chapter 4 is about people feeling the need to “give back”. Every individual has their own idea of giving back. Some people think the fact that they work is a contribution to society and that’s all they need to do. These types are called idiots. Some volunteer their time, though they do not always specify how. Volunteering to help at a $20k/year private school is not the same as a soup kitchen. This sounds very judgmental from me, but it needs to be judged. Money is power and power must be used for the betterment of society. That means helping people who don’t have enough. Taking your maid to lunch is nice, but not a significant contribution. I’d say pay more taxes, but we don’t have a government that would use them for good. So I guess they feel bad they are part of a system that they can’t change. Give the socialists a million and see if they can produce a viable campaign. Or buy off a politician for electoral reform. That would actually be a good idea. Buy off the politicians to make improvements. It’s the only way.
March 4th, 2024
Like I thought, a lot of these people think that donating to a (rich) school or their alma matter is charity. There’s nothing really charitable about it. A lot of the stay-at-home moms volunteer their time for their kids school, which is fine. It seems only the “downward” looking richies tend to donate to the actual poor. The problem with them is that they suffer from analysis paralysis and never end up donating. They also hate “looking” rich, so they don’t donate significant amounts of money. Regular people used to pay 10% of their income as a tithe. These people are afraid if they spend $1k then their children won’t have a future. Lot’s of delusional thoughts, heads up their asses.
March 5th, 2024
I have a feeling the next chapter is not going to be very interesting. It looks like it’s about stay-at-home mothers and the conflict that their unpaid labor brings with their husbands. There’s some controlling husbands and some women who spend too much money and all the permutations. Hard to like anyone in this situation. You have lots of money, use it and quit bitching.
March 8th, 2024
This chapter was indeed boring. All the people tend to fall into the expected stereotypes. The stay-at-home mothers resent the control and distrust of their money earning husbands. The husbands are controlling of money but don’t want to deal with the things that cost money. Households with two earners are more amicable, though women still tend to do the “women’s work” of running the household and kids. People with inheritance end up being more dominant and put their foot down with the money. Men who are married to female inheritors feel insecure. All of them need to just quit complaining and enjoy being rich. I do not sympathize.
March 13th, 2024
The last chapter is about parenting privileged children. Not that I have f-you money, but this is something I think about as well. I’m doing so much better than my parents did that I need to stop and think about how to instill good work ethic and sympathy for those with less. I’m not the hardest worker in the world, but I make enough to live comfortably and I have a good situation where the company needs me (said the delusional man). So when your child doesn’t have to struggle like you did, how you make sure they don’t become a dick and a bum? The rich people have a harder time with this than I do. Kids flying first-class are sure going to know they’re privileged. At the same, you don’t want to be a bad parent and deprive your child for the sake of deprivation. It’s a fine line, and it probably depends on the kid as much as the technique.
March 14th, 2024
Finished the last chapter. I don’t want to call these parents hypocrites, but there is some level of hypocrisy. Maybe self-deception is more accurate. A lot of it comes from the parents wanting their children to seem “normal” but not be “normal”. They want their children to understand public school but not go to public school. They want their children to be aware of how the poor live but still live a rich life. They want their children to understand hard work, but go to clubs and camps instead of having a job. Ultimately, they have these ideas in their head about ways to make sure their children are not entitled, but their children are entitled. That’s just the way it goes. When you grow up with something, that’s what you’re used to and that’s what you expect. Even if you gain it later in life, you get accustomed to it. Comfort is hard to give up.
March 15th, 2024
Finished the book with the conclusion and appendix. The conclusion, as most conclusions, doesn’t add much but restates what you should have already picked up on. I didn’t pay much attention to it, to be honest, but it was not very long. The appendix explains the background information on setting up the book and interviews, the interview process, and comments on what may or may not have been wrong with the process. This was a bit more interesting and shows how much of a pain it was to get a bunch of rich people to talk about money. What’s really interesting is the author essentially reveals herself to be a product of privilege, meaning she was a rich girl and went to fancy schools. That definitely helps get your foot in the door.